i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
