come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
