the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
