I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
