I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just forgot I was standing up.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm like, not good at living.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
