Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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