im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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