Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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