So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
