bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
