no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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