I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
