Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
