found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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