theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
