I think im going to throw up on grandma
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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