The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
