guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You pole danced in your parka.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
