Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
