so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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