guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Your cock deserves a montage
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
