My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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