i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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