hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
