so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
