i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
