There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
