Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
