Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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