the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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