just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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