Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just threw up on my dentist
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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