i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
