Swine flu. Run for my life!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
