where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
