2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
