i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
