Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
