wrigley field is MILF paradise
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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