Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
