i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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