Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
