In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
