she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
