he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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