where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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