Moan for me like Helen Keller
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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