i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
