big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
