I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
