OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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